Covid-19’s Cannonball Call

How the Pandemic is Inducing a Mass Midlife Crisis and What to Do About It

One of the few positives I’ve observed living through now almost 4 months with Covid-19 is the massive amount of people reconnecting with old hobbies. 

People started getting back to their writing, their dancing, their guitar playing, their singing, their teaching, their baking, their photography, theirthing

I think somewhere around month 2 of quarantine, people’s need to express these gifts grew larger than their sense of shyness or reservation – so we started to see more and more people post about finding their lost passions again on social media. 

While a lot of us have been experiencing massive career changes involuntarily, there are some people I know are choosing this uncertain time to execute rather drastic career pivots – a tech lifer-turned distributor, a career corporate executive-turned education entrepreneur, a doctor-turned teacher, career HR practitioner-turned salon owner.

They’re far from being the only ones, too

There must be something deeper afoot. 

My theory is that the current acute conditions have created such an unparalleled mass disruption, forcing us to face some existential life questions we may have been avoiding. 

What is this dissatisfaction I feel? Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing? 

Cannonball Moments

One spring day in 1917, teenager Walt Disney was coming home from delivering newspapers. Noticing a block of ice on the road, he couldn’t resist the urge to playfully kick it. What Walt didn’t notice was a large horseshoe nail embedded in the ice. The nail went through Walt’s big toe and as a result, Walt was bedridden for two weeks – his only vacation from his newspaper route job in 6 years. 

According to biographer Bob Thomas, in those two weeks Walt did a lot of thinking about his future. He LOVED to draw, but can he really build a career there? His dad highly disapproved of it, as it was a distraction from schoolwork. Perhaps he was thinking about his really poor grades, and how couldn’t concentrate in school. There goes college. He liked performing, but probably concluded he didn’t have enough talent to make a living with it. 

During those isolated two weeks though, Walt found himself doodling a lot. At the end of those two weeks, it became crystal clear to him – he wanted to be a cartoonist. That newfound resolve would propel him to plunge headlong into an animation career and establish Walt Disney Studios just five years after. 

That nail proved to be just the right disruption for Disney to momentarily escape his routine and face his soul’s questions. 

The Jesuits call these Cannonball Moments,unexpected situations in life which lead us to reconsider our identities and change trajectories. This is aptly named of course, for the literal cannonball which shattered the right leg of proud military man Ignatius de Loyola, forcing him to get sidelined for months in bed, which eventually changes his life’s direction as well. 

How many of us are experiencing the same sort of cannonball conditions now? 

We suddenly have a lot more of time on our hands, a lot more quiet time on our hands, we are isolated, suddenly taken from our routines, and yeah, getting powerfully reminded of our mortality everyday not only through this once-in-a-lifetime virus but the daily heartbreak we see on the news as well. 

Shall we heed the quiet call now stirring louder in our hearts? 

The Quest for Alignment

A lot of us push it back most of our lives. It isn’t practical. Not realistic. Especially nowadays. 

A good number of us try to scratch it a bit. Then, facing a bit of adversity, we put it quickly back in the box, and rationalize, I really should grow up and forget about this already.

But this call is part of our DNA, mapped into our souls from the moment we were born. It will continue to knock gently until answered fully.

It’s a bit timely as well, I am convinced. 

What is quite clear to me is that when people tap into their purpose, it isn’t just themselves who benefit. Everyone else does, too. Profoundly so. 

The singer who decides to sing can bring tears to those who listen.

The organizer who decides to organize can bring life-changing projects to life. 

The teacher who decides to teach can change lives. 

The consoler who decides to console can bring peace to many. 

The programmer who decides to program can create groundbreaking technology.

It’s easy to see that people who find and choose this alignment between true self and chosen role can affect far more dramatic change than people who experience misalignment – the artist who manages money, the teacher who sells, the consoler who crunches numbers, and so on. 

Don’t we need more and more people creating dramatic, positive change in these particular times?

This pandemic has affected how we work tremendously. If you’re lucky, perhaps migrating to a work-from-home setup and zoom fatigue are how the disruption is most felt. It might be good to consider how you are using your reclaimed travel time. Perhaps that could be put into better use. 

There are a lot of us who are hit in a worse way, suffering pay cuts, being laid off, dwindling bank accounts. Having gone through both the painful experience of getting laid off and the equally traumatising ordeal of laying people off, I have deep empathy for those going through this experience. 

I know how important it is to find silver linings. Perhaps viewing this situation as a cannonball moment can be a crucial silver lining – one leading to a fuller, happier, aligned life.

I Forgot I Was On Vocation!

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The past few months have been some of the most rewarding for me as an entrepreneur. At the start of 2013, we made a crucial decision to split STORM Consulting, my startup baby, into two, distinct, laser-focused firms: STORM Rewards was going to focus on flexible benefits. I was going to lead the efforts as its CEO. STRATA was going to focus on HR competency frameworks. The big difference here was that I really wanted to source an independent management team to lead Strata – I didn’t want to be involved in the day-to-day operations.

In hindsight, it proved to be a very pivotal decision. (yep, focus is everything)

Armed with a new business model which allowed it to offer Flexible Benefits for FREE to large firms, STORM more than doubled its client base and became the country’s flexible benefits leader in 12 short months. A learning junkie, I got to learn how to do two things: a) running an e-commerce firm (something STORM pivoted into with our new model), and b) truly scaling a firm. I am 3/4 into hiring a complete management team using internal revenue. Last week, I was in Cebu setting up operations to expand there. We’re also in the midst of a major fundraiser to fuel our efforts to expand into the region. There isn’t a shortage of interested parties. We will be in another country in a few months. That’s a statement I never thought I’d utter this soon.

Struggling out of the gate in 2013, Strata started 2014 with a risky decision. We decided to let 26-year old Dino Alcoseba, who started in STORM immediately after his graduation, to run EVERYTHING. It was risky because the usual service providers to the HR market are typically led by people decades older than Dino. With STRATA more consulting-heavy than STORM, and with management consultants usually being a lot more seasoned, the risk was real. However, with Dino’s proven record with us of being ultra-dependable, a leader, extremely coachable, entrepreneurial, and someone with a high degree of integrity, I heavily endorsed his appointment.

Dino started the year off landing no less than three 7-figure projects and one 8-figure project for STRATA (with significant help from COO Orvin Hilomen and HR wonder-boy Mico Subosa). In one quarter. He also has raised his game, showing a strategic side of him I’ve never seen, and most importantly, showing a genuine care and interest in the members of the team he was building.

As an entrepreneur, I should be on cloud-nine. But there was something missing.

Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy and feel extremely blessed for all of this. Some part of me WANTS me to be satisfied with this.

However, I felt like Tom Cruise near the end of Jerry Maguire when triumphant Cuba Gooding was surrounded by reporters. I was supposed to feel awesome. It WAS awesome. Still, I felt terribly incomplete.

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It was shocking not to remember after years of mindlessly logging in

“When are you posting again?”

I had been avoiding any talk of Juan Great Leap for months now. It took me 5 tries to remember the right username-password combination to access this WordPress account. I would brush off queries as to when the next blogpost would be, or when the next Open Coffee would be. I would indefinitely postpone requests for a coffee-chat or a Skype session with dozens of people. I would ignore internal moments of inspiration for a new blogpost. I’d ignore all of these, rationalizing it with thoughts like:

“I had done my part”

“It’s now time to concentrate on my own firms.”

“I’ll do it next month.”

“I’m busy with more important things.”

“Why do I need to spend several hours writing a post when it doesn’t make me a centavo?”

But that gnawing feeling would come to haunt me every so often, accentuated by the occasional “when’s JGL coming back?” comment.

That made me think.

What is my purpose for JGL anyway?

Is it a medium to share my thoughts? To network? To better my brand? To help? A medium for a frustrated writer?

I then got around reading this and this, which, reading now, I almost feel comes from a different person.

Juan Great Leap was is the central medium for my vocation.

The reason I felt incomplete as an entrepreneur was precisely because my vocation wasn’t to be just an entrepreneur. It was to help others find their own vocations in this brave, new, fascinating world, where one has a lot more choices than to be a corporate cog.

I felt incomplete because I wasn’t following His plan. The Strata experience exacerbated this incompleteness even more, because seeing Dino finding himself and develop into his own brought such an intense feeling of satisfaction in me.

I think this incompleteness comes to us in many different forms, called by many different names:

“quarter-life crisis”

“mid-life crisis”

“existential angst”

“something is missing”

“why the heck am I not happy?!”

“I feel detached”

I believe God has a plan for all of us. It is a beautiful plan – one where all our talent and faculties are used to the fullest. Where we feel whole.

God tries to give us clues as to what it is. We see glimpses of it in our innermost desires, in our unique gifts and talents. We feel a bit of it when we find ourselves in situations where we can clearly help others with our gifts, where we cease noticing time and find ourselves in the “zone.” It is when we feel not merely happiness, but true, inexplicable joy.

It is when we are doing what God BUILT us to do. So naturally, there is a FELT alignment when we are on the right path, and a FELT misalignment when we are off the path.

Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin call this doing your “art” (as opposed to doing a job). I call it pursuing your vocation.

And I almost let it get away.

reset

Do allow me to start over.

There’s so much I’ve learned in the last 6 months which I absolutely need to share with you. New insights. New paradigms. New strategies.

But let’s start small and simple. Starting small and simple has worked tremendously for me.

First, you can now expect regular updates from hereon. Let me ease into this again.

Second, I want to organize a quick, intimate get-together – largely because I want to meet some people who have recently reached out to me wanting to do a coffee-chat. There are around 5 of them. I’m opening 5 more slots. I just want to meet 10 people in an intimate setting. Criteria: you need to be someone who has a clear startup idea and needs a bit of advice or you need to be a current startup entrepreneur with less than 1 year experience who needs a bit of advice. It also needs to be okay with you to share your idea with the rest of the people invited.

Email me your idea and your background. If things check out, you have the slot. First 5 people to email (and fits the criteria) gets in. Coffee will be on me. I’m thinking of scheduling it next Thursday night, July 24. We can meet at the STORM offices along Julia Vargas.

Let’s do this.

Forget Your Career And Pursue Your Vocation

discernment

My So-called Career Development

For the most part of my adult life, I thought I knew what I had wanted to do.

I wanted to pursue a career in HR. I wanted to make money. I wanted to make my resume as impressive as I could possible make it.

And so I tried my very best to achieve these. I knew they would make me happy.

At particular points, I would find myself dissatisfied with certain facets. So, I just decided on changing some things along the way.

Not enough money? Join a better-paying firm.

Resume not impressive enough? Get an advanced degree.

Still not happy? Party and go out with friends.

In my fourth company, Chikka, I became extremely confused.

I was doing well.

It was a dynamic firm. I had a great boss. I made key decisions in my function. I was paid well. It was fun.

I SHOULD be happy, I thought. So I pretended a bit, trying to ignore my restlessness.

But I just wasn’t happy.

Almost instinctively, I thought of leaving for another firm. But I knew one thing which bothered me to the core: after 3-4 months, the novelty would fade away in my theoretical new firm, and I would be left with the same dissatisfaction I had wanted to escape from.

Was this how life is? Just trudging from one place to another like a plodding headless chicken? 

Could I start anew in another field?! No! How can I just waste a decade of my life and start from scratch?

This was how effective my “career management” endeavors ended up being. My own decisions brought me to the brink of desperation.

Direction

Finding My Vocation

In How God Founded Our Startup, I talk about how God intervened at this particular point in my life.

It wasn’t an instant thing.

I think I really only found Him around two years before that fateful leap.

Prior to that, I had no prayer life whatsoever (except maybe when I needed something, then I’d say a short prayer), I did what I wanted when I wanted. I would usually skip Mass. In retrospect, I never let Him be a part of my life nor of my decisions.

When I decided to really follow and love God – and get to know Him and talk to Him more consistently in prayer, things slowly started to change. I learned I needed to let go of the wheel and surrender. Very tough for someone as independent as me.

Little did I know that 2 years after, God would ask of me all that I found important in the world – money, titles, security, clarity, control – in making my great leap.

I had never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be an entrepreneur, much, much, less a helper of entrepreneurs. It was never, ever a career option.

Up until I wrote the first Juan Great Leap post, blogging was something very very foreign for me. I never in my wildest dreams thought: “I want to start an entrepreneurial blog and a build a community of entreps who help one another.”

Yet, this is precisely where God has led me.

Only He could have designed something that fits me perfectly in so many profound ways, I cannot even begin to describe. I have found my vocation, and my soul cannot stop celebrating.

Career versus Vocation

When we speak of “vocation,” it is usually reserved for just describing someone entering the priesthood or the convent.

No way.

All of us are missioned. God has a purpose for EACH one of us, and until we find that purpose, our souls become restless. We may try to numb this restlessness with money, power, control, or even relationships, but until we find that purpose, I believe getting rid of this restlessness will be elusive.

Vocation hails from the latin word vocātiō, meaning a call or a summons. Quite literally, vocation means being were we are called by God.

path

Heeding our vocation  –  which connotes seeking and following what His will is for us – is quite a different process from developing our careers – which frequently involve mental decision making.

The goals of a career are quite different from what the goals of a vocation are as well. The goal of a developing a career will likely revolve around some of the things I mentioned earlier: money, power, security, control.

The goal of a vocation, meanwhile, is to find our place and God’s purpose for us.

Careers are typically goal-based. We try to find jobs that pay us x amount per month let’s say, or will allow us to travel to countries, or will give us a certain title, or a certain type of car. There’s an endgame.

Vocations, on the other hand, to quote Fr. Ramon Bautista, SJ, in a retreat I had earlier today, “are never ‘mission-accomplished'”

Putting it most bluntly: careers don’t usually involve God. It seeks satisfaction in the external, specifically, that which we do not have.

“My dream job is out there. I need to keep looking.”

Vocation, on the other hand, makes you look at your interior self.

How has God moved in my life? What are my deepest desires? What are the gifts God gave me? How and where can I use them best for Him?

These internal questions, which I now so often use when I discern, are so different from the questions I used to ask, when I decided: 

What field will I be happy in? How much will my minimum salary be? Are the benefits comparable? Is my boss cool? What is the salary increase rate here? How fast will I get promoted? 

For lasting happiness and fulfillment, I think it’s pretty easy to see here what to pursue. You’d be glad to know following God has a practical angle as well: God’s plan will surely involve developing the best you that you can possibly be, maximizing your gifts and talents. When this happens, opportunity abounds. (In the end though, the bottom-line is this, if you surrender to God, don’t you think He will be faithful and take care of you?)

My social media spat

I got a note from someone around a year ago who said something like:

“Religious faith has no place business decisions. I would understand things like ‘having faith in the company,’ but religious faith? I fail to see how that can help any business.”

After everything that happened to me, I felt like going nuclear on the guy.

But then I realized that I felt the same way just a couple of years ago. Come to think of it, I NEVER involved God before in my career decisions. In fact, it was a little weird to mix “careers” and “God” in the same sentence for me.

I’m sure a lot of us still feel the same way.

So perhaps its best to start with something most of us can agree with: God loves us so very much.

Incredibly. Uniquely. Infinitely.

If you believe He loves us this much, then surely, You have to believe He must have a unique plan for each of us. A purpose.

If we believe He does have a plan then doesn’t it make sense to begin the process of trying to find out what it is?